I’m from a primarily Christian background, but in my teens I started questioning the practicality of what I had been taught. Looking at Christian history, how is it possible that the teachings of Christ has become so distorted by those who allegedly are part of the lineage passed down from Christ himself, through Peter? How has it become so corrupt and ungodly? How could there exist such abominations as the Inquisition, the Crusades, a host of religious wars, forced conversion, warrior popes, and a host of other atrocities?
No, if that is what religion is in practice, leave me out. Moreover, look at what religious leaders tell us today…God loves you…God cares for you…God will protect you. They love to preach about and convince you that their religion is your salvation. What does “your salvation” mean exactly? It seems to me they believe their lofty convictions grant them permission to talk down to us. It makes them exceptional (they think). After all, what do these narrow-minded bigots really know about God except what’s been bandied about for thousands of years, illusion upon illusion?
On the other hand, I say I am an agnostic. Do I fear the religious zealot may be right? Am I a fence rider when it comes to this question of such great consequence? Do I believe these fanatics may be right after all, and I’m hedging my bet? Not at all. I don’t believe in any organized religion that asserts a personal God (I found it true that man created God in his own image). Let’s face it, mankind is incapable of knowing anything at all of such a being. Could we know God through esoteric knowledge handed down to chosen individuals? The idea that God inspires prophets is just a way of evading the fact that we are incapable of understanding such matters, and we satisfy ourselves with this completely unverifiable notion.
The problem I have is that I just can’t seem to make the leap to atheism; not because of fear of retribution, but because whenever I look at the world around me, I see design. The universe is an amazing piece of engineering, far too complex for our pea brains. On all levels, from the quantum world, to the universe as a whole, to life itself, and the concept of consciousness, there simply must be intelligence behind it. Therefore, I’m stuck with the concept that there just may be a Creator. Or maybe not.